About Me (Part 1)

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. --  Mark 10:6-9

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. -- Oscar Wilde

If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together. -- Wise African Proverb

As I said once before in my writings on here, these blogs may be the only untampered with written records I leave to my children. I want to try and explain on here to posterity important things like the quotes above and why I wasn't able to be there for them in person when they were growing up. I also want to explain more about myself. I want to leave my kids with some of the best advice I have gleaned from my 44 years of life. I'm going to try and warn them of things on here and reassure them if they ever feel like they are the only ones out there who believe. 

I just want to say to all of my family and readers that they need to read everything they read about me with a grain of salt. All of my journals and scriptures have been rewritten or tampered with. All of my pictures have been photoshopped. My Jolley family and some of my Oates relatives have tried to alter and erase every record and accomplishment from my life, and I hate them for that. 

Childhood, High School and Some Free Advice

Okay, so what can I say about myself? Well, I had a pretty tame and uneventful childhood despite being a blackmail child growing up. I was a blackmail child in the sense that my father wasn't my real biological father and my mother had me to blackmail my real father for money (she stole his seed from him). God didn't let me know until only a year or two ago that I had another Dad and family-- so I am just now figuring out what all really happened to me in life. It is weird to think though that my mother actually had me for blackmail money, not because she really wanted a child. What's weirder is that half the time I was growing up I was raised by look-alikes of my parents and Oates relatives, but I won't get into that now.

Anyway, as a child I loved sports, reading books, playing with my friends, and going on campouts with the scouts. Sometimes my friends and I would get into trouble doing pranks and things like that but not too often. In the summers we would go swimming a lot in my neighbor's pools. Rollerblades were a popular thing then and I bought a pair of those so I could play rollerblade hockey with my friends. 

I grew up in an upper-middle-class home in Bakersfield, CA where we had most every convenience but money was tight, or at least that's what I thought. I always put out flyers and worked around the neighborhood at odd jobs to pay for things. I think I bought all my food and clothes and things by the time I was fourteen years old. 

Looking back, I had a lot of ambition and a strong desire to work and pay my own way in life. This was a good thing......but also a virtue that became a vice. Yeah, you heard that right. Making money isn't even close to the most important thing in life. In fact, if you do what's right and don't love and worship it, money will come to you. As Frank A. Clark observes, "Many folks think they aren't good at earning money, when what they don't know is how to use it." (ha, ha, ha) 

Try and calculate money in a much broader light in terms of manpower, friends, companionship, health, good food, security, loyalty, reliability, knowledge, ideas, beauty, privacy, freedom, notoriety, insurance, the ability to rest and recreate, and information. If you do this you might just find you are much, much richer than your bank account indicates.  

So seriously, my advice today to my kids is not to seek after riches or the vain things of the world. As Jacob in the Book of Mormon says, "But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good-- to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and afflicted." (Jacob 2:18-19) 

Also to my kids, always remember that there are uninspired, lazy and psychologically sick people around you who want to exploit you and steal your data, labor, and creative ideas. Fight for your intellectual property rights and privacy in this life. I recommend you try and be your own boss -- work smarter, not harder. If you have the predisposition to work, remember to be innovative and inventive. With regards to work, you may need to break with prescribed roles or duties and not follow in anyone else's footsteps really. Remember that one man can have an idea and vision that helps over 10,000 people.  

I hope my kids know the world is fun and wants to make them a slave. If you don't know what the word fun means ask someone who cares about you, or better yet, pray about it until you do. Fighting fun things will give you liberty in life. Liberty starts in your mind, with your thoughts. "Change your thoughts and you'll change your world" (attributed to Norman Vincent Peale).

Don't resist God or disregard His will for you by not asking Him often for directions. Know that you can't always become what you want to become in this life, but you can become what God wants you to become-- and that is something very great indeed. Yeah, God can do more with your life than you could ever do yourself. In the end, I just hope my kids will "look and live" and be much more discerning and wise than I was growing up.  

Its pretty safe to say my Jolley/Oates family didn't love me, at best ignored me, and at worst, hurt me and did rotten things to undermine my potential. As a kid, when I started excelling in soccer, they deliberately put me on a "club" team that had bad coaches that taught me nothing about soccer, and that were paid to ensure our team had a losing season. It was frustrating but I didn't know the opposition was coming from my own parents and coaches.

My mother held me back in baseball too. She intentionally made me miss tryouts so I had to play in the minor leagues, although I was the fastest pitcher in both minor and major leagues then. So I got bored with baseball and quit playing. I was really fast though and think I might have become a tall pro pitcher like Randy Johnson if I had continued with that. Oh well, at least my parents went to the effort of letting me play organized sports. Some kids didn't even get that. 

I am also just so grateful my parents didn't sexually abuse me. I have to thank my biological father and his family most for that protection. I didn't know it at the time, but my biological father and his family were always leveraging my parents, watching out for me and protecting me from a distance throughout life. My trials were hard but they were often moderated and it could have been much, much worse for me. 

Just so some of you know, I feel the same way as my biological father and his family about my kids. I have been and am still intending to do my best to keep you moms and you kids safe. It is a big task but so far we haven't lost anyone. If you live in Washington state now though (Nov 2024), know that you are in for a fight. That area is being flooded right now by some of the most ambitiously evil and power hungry people around. They think Washington State is the new technology center of the world and are trying to overrun that place and gerrymander the district. We have had a few close calls there lately so that's why I mention it.   

Anyways, I need you all to pray, follow the spirit and work hard to be safe in life. Like my biological father and his family did for me, I'll try and be there for you to protect you from what you don't understand. Regarding personal safety, my best advice to you is the same as Paul's in the New Testament (Romans 11:20): "...thou standest by faith. Be not highminded, but fear." 

We all have a propensity at times to think we are higher or safer in life than we really are. Read the book The Emperor's New Clothes to remind yourself of important concepts such as to beware of pride and that "pride cometh before the fall." Don't be deluded or too light minded, fear God, fear the consequences of sin, fear the things you do not understand. 

At the same time, also don't be paralyzed by fear of the unknown. Someday, and I hope it is sooner not later for you, I think you'll come to realize life is crazy. Try as we might, life gets so big and out of our hands, we just all live upon a prayer in the end. Jesus explained life best in Matthew 19:26 when he said, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Also remember what Jesus said, "For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." Don't let social status, looks, skills, money or any other personal asset or virtue go to your head. If you happen to be able to work and earn some money, don't be conceited about it and think you earned it. Try and always remember the people who can't work due to disability or circumstances beyond their control. Also try and remember that God loves you and you're special, just like everybody else.

I have talked to some of my biological family and they all know you have to be quite low to be high in life. Yeah, you can say they really have the high/low thing going on (ha, ha, ha). My impression of my biological family thus far is that they are straight up, grounded, God fearing, socially responsible people. I think they understand this important analogy well. Rocks, Pebbles, Sand

But back to my life story. For some odd reason, God didn't show me most of the secrets in my Jolley/Oates family and all their ill intentions until later in life. This was probably because of the danger I was in and because everything was so extremely tight lipped and secretive in my family. Yeah, I pretty much went through life at this time liking everyone and thinking everyone was my friend (ha, ha, ha). 

When I "woke up" in a rapid awakening-like period of my life, and discovered what all my family was into and had been doing, I kind of went berserk. As Gilliam Welch sings in her song Wrecking Ball, "I took every secret I had ever known and headed for the wall, like a wrecking ball." 

A godsend for me was that just at the time I was doing this society was at a tipping point and many people were vindicating and righting the wrongs of the past. I was helped tremendously with my family problems at this time and didn't suffer too much more from them after that.  

That whole awakening thing happened when I was about thirty years old, but here's more about my earlier life. In high school I had a girlfriend and my parents didn't like that. Frictions began to rise and finally, they insisted I leave my friends in California and go live with my grandparents in Utah for the remainder of high school. 

Utah was a good change of scenery for me, but my grandmother was also bad and would sometimes poison my food. Family members would try and set me up with girls who were really bad or really fat or mean and I would be a little offended about that. But again, I didn't know I was secretly the family outsider and pet, and it was my own Jolley/Oates family that was against me. 

As you may have noticed, I am a little hyper-sensitive about food and people who have poisoned it. Knowing my kid's mothers, eating good food may not be an issue for many of them-- but I have to say, food is still an important thing for you kids to pay attention to. As a wise person once observed, "There are two types of people in this world, those who go to food and those who don't." Don't be in the latter category, the result will not just be that you get dinged by high-priced food -- the end result will be death. 

Few things will determine your overall health and future success in life more than A-consciousness. Everything from understanding of the world and money, focus and brain chemistry, physical health and energy levels, and personal defense and safety, starts with A-consciousness. I encourage my kids to exercise their faith, and not guess or look to others, but really know for certain for themselves what they are eating-- and just see where that leads them. 

Do not fear retaliation from the guessing masses, the spies or the psychologically sinister for being A-conscious. You can eat healthy in this world and unlike me, still escape the mental hospital and all that ensuing A-drama. I'll admit, many of my problems did start as I became A-conscious-- but I was highly monitored and in a much different family situation than many of you. As the Shins sing in their song New Slang, "New slang when you notice the stripes and the dirt in your fries. Hope it's right when you die, old and bony." 

I may sound bitter about my family experiences growing up and as if I was totally oppressed in life but that was not completely the case. In fact, I had one relative in my family that was a very good mentor for me growing up. I spent a few months living at his house in high school and learned a lot from him. He was a really interesting and knowledgeable guy and married into my family when he was in his early forties. 

I have often reflected on how it was a better choice for me to have followed this relative's example and try and marry later in life than to have made a naive and uninformed mistake on marriage in my youth. I wasn't as good a judge of people in my youth. I had sinister family members trying to manipulate my future. I didn't have a clue what a normal relationship looked like. 

Rock College Years

In the end, I did almost make a really bad mistake on marriage when I was in my youth with a girl from Rock College. Yeah, my family tried to secretly arrange it. I'll admit, it was partly my fault, I was young and dumb and a little superficial and just fell for a pretty face. But I didn't know my family was secretly with this girl and that she had a very ambitious hidden agenda-- something just didn't feel right about her. 

At the last minute, and to her great dismay, I realized we weren't alike and that I had just been going with the flow and had been too content with what came to me, not in actively finding and pursuing what I wanted in life. The best day of my life was the day I backed out of my marriage proposal to her (ha, ha, ha). Time would tell that I really dodged the bullet on this too.... literally. This girl was a witch and always resented me after our engagement. Working with my mother, she hunted me for years afterward. 

So sometimes as Garth Brooks sings, I just thank God for "Unanswered Prayers" (ha, ha, ha). To my kids, trust that God knows what is best for you and always doubt that you have the experience and understanding in life to know just what you really want, how exactly to make your own decisions and what is really in your own best interest (ha, ha, ha). We are little children here on this earth with an imperfect view and understanding. Therefore, allow God to direct you into things and don't feel bad when things don't always go as you planned if you are doing what's right. 

My grandfather claimed to be a stellar athlete in college and a good coach of basketball. He would always advise me to "play big man" and "get rebounds." I didn't know any better and trained hard with my Utah friends to play four-man. But I was out of luck because my grandfather knew the coach of the varsity high school team in Utah and had the coach cut me from the team. Later that coach told me he made a big mistake in cutting me and said he was impressed with how much I had improved on my own just playing basketball with my friends. He said he thought I was good enough to play in college. 

College was the thing to do then and supposably the way to get a good job in life, so I saved my money from working over the summer and went to Rock College after high school. I had taken my high school coach's advice and had continued to train in basketball all that year after being cut from the high school team so I could make the college team. I chose Rock College because they were in one of the most competitive conferences in the country and the coach there had open tryouts, although I think he rarely kept anyone on the team from open tryouts. 

That year, 1995, I walked on to the Rock College team despite not having really played organized basketball in high school. It was a big accomplishment for me and I learned a lot about basketball from my coach there. He met my grandfather and knew my family was a problem before keeping me on the team. Living in that relatively small college town, he really went out on a limb in giving me a chance to play. 

Telling this story reminds me of an important concept in life that many, many people have a hard time with. It is the obligation to be honest and do the right thing in life no matter what the consequences. I am just so glad my coach had the courage to keep the players who really deserved to be kept on the team despite any hardship it would cause him. Like my coach, people who are completely honest with God and themselves have spiritual power and a clear conscience. As Hugh W. Pinnock, a church general authority, once told me, "Be completely honest with yourself and your fellowmen and your blessings in life and eternity will be unimaginable."

My basketball coach told me I was the most athletic power forward on the team and I'm not lying when I say, I think I had the body and raw athletic talent to play in the NBA if I had just been a little less scatterbrained, more disciplined, and trained at the guard position instead of the power forward position where I was undersized for the next level. There would have been a lot of ifs, ands, and buts to making it big, but I guess what I'm saying now is I kind of regret that I was a little distracted from the things I wanted to achieve in sports by things society told me I was supposed to do, i.e. study, marry, and earn money. 

I also didn't realize during college that I was being held back by my family in a number of ways. They were bribing some of my teammates and coaches. And despite being from a "sports family" no one ever told me about college sports eligibility rules. If so, I may have waited to enroll in college. My mother told me I was two years older than I really was, so waiting a while for my body to develop after high school would have been a big advantage. Lastly, I was naive and took the wrong coaching advice from my grandfather who advised me to play "big man" instead of guard. 

To my kids, the best thing to do in life is to passionately pursue your dreams no matter what anyone says and no matter how slim people say your chances of achieving that dream are. I say if you want to play professional sports go for it, if you want to be a musician or an astronaut go for it. The worst thing you can do is not try. Just be sure to check with God first on any thing you do to see if your goal is what he wants for you. To achieve your dreams you can't hedge too much, you have to follow your heart and dreams with full purpose. 

I just hope my kids train hard, focus, choose the right teams and coaches, and develop all their god given potential. Sports are important. They help you stay in good shape and learn grit, endurance, teamwork, discipline, and how to accomplish goals in life. I also think you learn the most from competitive situations. My kids will not regret the time they spend training for sports regardless of how far they go with them. 

Unfortunately, I broke my kneecap playing basketball in 1997 and was never able to fully recover from that debilitating injury. I was a good student though and just continued with college studies after that.

Okay, I can only stand so much self-reflection and reminiscing about my life right now. This information is not given for an obituary (ha, ha, ha). It is for my kids mainly and I will write more later to tell them more about my life. Thanks for reading.